Current mood:

determined

Enough
My stomach hurts for some reason ... it's been mildly aching for most of the day, and where typically I might think that it was because of a cancerous tumor (I'm quite the hypochondriac) I don't think that today. I think that I don't eat right and my body is telling me to stop feeding it garbage. I think I don't drink enough water or move enough. I think I've fallen apart, or at least off the wagon, and I need to climb back on, or in - whatever.

Getting back into relative shape means a lot. It means that I have to stop being lazy and start taking some responsibility for how I feel and how I look. It means commitment, and that's confusing because I'm usually so good with that concept. It's so easy to become complacent, so easy to fall into temptation, quite simply, so easy not to care; but where did this come from? I have some theories, but by now all those reasons should have long gone. Obviously not? Or maybe it's that I use those reasons as excuses for why I haven't moved on ...

So I've decided to post about my struggle, because writing it down (well posting it up) will help, because others will read it. I'm not asking anything of anyone, but if this 'battle' is out in the open, maybe I won't have anymore excuses to continue along this self-indulgent "poor me" pathway.